My 2018 Vanishing Anticipations

Here are a few things from 2017 that left us yearning for something new in 2018. 

written by: strangelooks

1.

A full Rihanna 90's/early 00's style rap album. On Lemon, by N.E.R.D., her verse singlehandedly gave the song the boost it needed to be great. She succinctly portrayed her ability to change sounds and effortlessly blend genres. We want more.

2.

No more Rick and Morty...y'all killed it. What was once unique is now trite & overplayed. It's cringy and damning as the lack of blood on doors in egypt. 

3.

I hate malls and hope all those stores close. I would love to see some city ban all chains and completely endorse local small-businesses. I don't want to close off the world, but I can't shop at fucking Pacsun anymore...I just can't.

4.

Episode IX: Return on the Investment. Disney should give money to anything except Jedis. It's over, no one really cares anymore, and it's an extra yearly chore to clog your mind with during the holidaze. Give the money to A24 or Jordan Peele...even the Brigsby Bear Guy. 

5.

Also, can we not ruin video games? Seriously...no more call of duty's and shit. No more weird computer games. All that is necessary is a steady stream of playable and interesting games similar to those that came during the PS2 era. Side note: Rockstar: let's get going with GTA 6.

6.

I don't care what variant of the all not edgy apples to apples you bought at the mall, I don't want to get tipsy and play Apples to Apples knockoffs with people I'm only friends with on LinkedIn. Also, I don't want to just get tipsy, we have Uber. 

7.

More Cardi B, less Nicki Minaj.

8.

More Frank Ocean touring in America, and timely shipping of purchased merchandise... *ahem* Endless DVD *ahem* Worldnet sweatshirts.

9.

Biologically, eggs are more "expensive" than sperm. That's why men are generally the ones chasing. Sperm is pretty dispensable, eggs are not. But, if you're a girl, that doesn't mean you don't have to try. We live in a civilized society, and you can't put up a dating profile with no text and expect effort on my part.

10.

Please, no more Millennial bashing. You old heads are just as shitty as we are, then and now. Ironically, we're the direct product of the people critiquing us the loudest. The joke is trite and played out. 

11.

I have no interest in keeping up with anyone from college... like fuck, if we were friends then we would talk outside of our monthly obligated meet-ups where you repeat trite statements about "adulting," as told to me by a 26 y/o man. 

12.

If you're younger than me, then pause. Stop being successful and let me catch up, damn.